Sorcha Frances Ryder's photograph My Bedroom As A Depressed College Graduate can be found in the National Gallery of Ireland, usually surrounded by curious smirks, and nods of solidarity. For this week's edition of the Quarter-Life Crisis Newsletter, Sorcha answered a few questions on how her daily life inspired the award-winning piece.
©My Bedroom As A Depressed College Graduate, by Sorcha Frances Ryder
MA: When did the idea of this photograph come to mind?
SFR: Finishing college was very overwhelming, I kept wondering ‘what’s next for me?’ I had moved away for college and had just come back to Dublin. I didn’t know anyone, so I was finding my feet. People already sort of knew each other, and there I was. I just fell into the whole hedonism of going out, socializing, meeting people… basically distracting myself from how scary the future was looking.
Eventually, a few weeks before the deadline for the prize, I started to work on the picture. I had the idea for a little while before I took it. I wanted to be really honest. The photo is based on very real things that I was going through at the time. It was probably the first time ever when I wasn’t emulating another artist.
"Interestingly enough, that photo was born out of me questioning my place in the arts."
I didn’t study photography originally, I don’t know why, I sort of picked it on a whim. It was only in my final year of college that I got into the medium of photography. And for so many reasons, my degree doesn’t typically lead to an obvious job. I was quite good in college, and it was hard going from being talked up to “nobody knows you’re here”.
The arts world is also very competitive, and all of that left me very anxious. So trying to get my foot in the door was really overwhelming. I wasn’t sure what part of the world I belonged in.
That photo ended up bringing me a bit of success, and interestingly enough, it was born out of my questioning my place in the arts. It came out of me wondering: Am I ever going to make it at all? Where do I fit in? Am I even any good?
MA: Can you tell us about the different elements in the picture?
SFR: The final composition of the photograph wasn’t what I originally had planned at all. I was initially drawing a lot of inspiration from Cindy Sherman. I had a lot of the same elements, but I was originally supposed to be on the floor, and the mattress was to be beside my head.
I had been shooting for eight hours straight in my studio, alone, and I was so tired. I even had a costume that I kept putting on and taking off. It wasn’t working out as it did in my head. By the time I was ready to go home, I still had two shots left on my camera, so I figured ‘let me try something else’. So, that photograph that I ended up submitting was one of the very last shots I took.
I shoot in analog, all my photos are on film, so the button you see is actually me taking the photo. It’s connected to a 6-meter wire that’s connected to the trigger on the camera. On the other end, there’s a needle that screws into the trigger. When you press, the air gets pumped, it’s very old school. My hand is squeezing really tight because I need to get through six meters of air! It takes ages for the trigger to go off.
"I wasn't trying to be anyone else"
The rest of the objects in the picture are all from my actual life - you can use your imagination! The vodka bottle was just in my studio, from a night out; the bag that says “crappy delicious food” was something I had eaten when I was hungover, and the receipt was actually from my job.
All of those elements were things that, in a way, were scattered on the floor, cluttering the studio, and that I decided I could bring into the photo. Plus the color palette of red and silver really worked out. I wasn’t trying to be anyone else. It’s the best photo I’ve ever taken.
I wasn’t trying to be anyone else. It’s the best photo I’ve ever taken.
MA: Do you feel like the photograph conveys a universal message?
SFR: This sentiment is absolutely not a unique experience, it’s so universal, especially at the moment, especially in Ireland for so many reasons, like the housing crisis, the current government, the cost of living crisis… even the fact that in Ireland we have a great percentage of people who actually go to college, but college graduates have to get jobs, and since everyone’s a college graduate it’s incredibly competitive.
I know for a fact that all my peers can relate. There were people who messaged me after seeing the photo, and told me “yeah, this is my life and it really resonates with me.”
I’m really proud to have a message in our national gallery because means it can’t be swept under the rug. I don’t make any money, I’m on social welfare. I live at my parent's house, that’s why I do what I do. I’m broke! I’ve made the decision that if I can’t make money, I am going to use all the resources I have to try and do what I love.
MA: Is this a recurrent theme in your work?
SFR: I realized that if I’m being very honest in my approach to making my art, the political and social statement sort of follows suit. If you’re trying to convey a message that’s bigger than yourself, you’re setting yourself up for failure. So I’d say that being honest and being real are hugely important traits in my work. Don’t be afraid to be honest.
Also, you should just keep trying! It’s easy to say, but as I said, I was about to give up. I didn’t know if I could survive in this world and that piece has now made my work so much better because now I can approach all my work in the way I approached that one piece.
I really want to reiterate and state that this photo came out of a very vulnerable and honest time in my life. It was that whole breakthrough of not trying to be another artist. Obviously, it’s good for artists to pay attention to what’s come before, to look at how things they like have been done, and to bring some of those elements to their own work. But when it comes from a really honest place, that’s when it’s good. Don’t worry too much about the image, try to present a feeling. Social statements will follow.
Sorcha Frances Ryder (b. 1998) is a Dublin-based visual artist and fine art photographer. Ryder grew up in Tallaght, where she currently resides with her family. In 2021 she graduated with First Class Honours (BA) in Fine Art Print & Contemporary Practice from Limerick School of Art & Design.
Her work deals with themes of home, loneliness and transitions from youth to adulthood, with elements of the uncanny and abject personhood. Through intimate portraiture and narrative scenes set in domestic or personal spaces, Ryder makes deeply personal and sincere expressions of her personhood, that are uncompromising in their attempt to show her trials, triumphs and failures. Her most recent work is a candid expression of her life after college, while also acting as a microcosm of the larger issue of a generation who feel unsure of their futures and let down by the systems that are in place.
Recently, she has exhibited across Ireland, including the Limerick City Gallery of Art, OUTSET Gallery (Galway), and the National Gallery of Ireland as a shortlisted artist for the Zurich Portrait Prize 2022. She is currently based in La Catedral Studios, Dublin 8.